


All I Need is the Air That I Breathe and to Love You

by sodaguzzler



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20 doesn't exist, Andrew Dabb hate club, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Winchester - Freeform, Castiel did nothing wrong, Castiel is gay, Castiel is in love with Dean Winchester, Comfort, Dean - Freeform, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean Winchester is a bisexual mess, Dean Winchester is bad at using his words, Dean Winchester is in love with Castiel, Dean Winchester needs to use his words, Dean winchester is Bi, Eileen - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fix It, He/They Sam Winchester, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Jack - Freeform, Jack Winchester - Freeform, Jack kline - Freeform, M/M, Non-Binary Jack Kline, SPN - Freeform, Sam - Freeform, Sam Winchester - Freeform, She/They Eileen Leahy, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Finale Fix It, They/They Jack Kline, What Supernatural finale?, castiel - Freeform, dean winchester is bisexual, eileen leahy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28588416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodaguzzler/pseuds/sodaguzzler
Summary: Supernatural fix it type of situation (in no way correlates with my other fix it fic This is Home)Will be multiple chapters following Deans point of view, starting a month after Chuck was defeated. (15x20 doesn't exist xoxo)
Relationships: Castiel/ Dean Winchester, Sam winchester/ eileen leahy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	All I Need is the Air That I Breathe and to Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Slinky_Writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slinky_Writes/gifts).



> i gift this work to the Cas to my Dean  
> hi yeah hi Cas ilyvvvvvm mwah mwah mwah I hope you have a very pleasant evening >:D /p /gen
> 
> Making love with you  
> Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired  
> What more could I ask  
> There's nothing left to be desired  
> Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak  
> So sleep, silent angel  
> Go to sleep
> 
> All I Need is the Air That I Breathe- the Holliers

87 days, 5 hours , and 47 minutes without Castiel. And Dean was a terrible, horrible wreck. 

Like always, he kept most of his suffering to himself as to not worry Sam and Jack, pretty much the only family he had left. Jack had been staying at the bunker again ever since Amara had separated herself from them and began ruling Heaven herself after the nephilim politely declined the offer to rule Heaven with her. However, it wasn't the same. Dean was happy that jack was back, ecstatic even. They deserved a normal childhood and deserved a chance at life instead of ruling the universe at the ripe age of 3. 

But the hole in his heart remained. No matter how many layers upon layers of booze and burgers and monster killings he draped over the terrible, festering wound, it never left. It never fully healed. And it never would. 

Dean woke up late that Sunday morning, much later than he normally did. It was around eleven in the morning when he sluggishly sat up and ran a hand over his face with shaky exhale. He normally expected Miracle to clumsily throw himself onto the mattress and cover him with sloppy kisses, but like most things now a days, he didn't always get what he expected. 

Of course, Sam gave Dean a hard time with waking up late, Jack sitting criss cross on the counter top with a bowl of some brand of unhealthy cereal in their lap. Everything was as it should be. They hadn't fallen into a fluent routine, he and Sam would be gone hunting on days where Jack was absolutely needed for heavenly duties. And when they weren't, the brothers would stay at home with them and give them the love and attention they deserved. It wasn't anything crazy, but it worked. 

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this afternoon." 

Sam's smart remark made the nephilim child chuckle lightly from across the kitchen, another layer of irritation being added to Deans growing pile of anxiety and pent up frustration. 

"Technically it's still morning, smartass."

"Yeah, yeah." 

Sam scolded playfully, nodding toward the opposite end of the kitchen. 

"There's some left overs in there if you want any."

Dean said his thanks, quickly making and finishing his food before going back into his room, the place where he spent the majority of his time anyway. It was painfully empty, or at least it felt that way. The walls were bare, if you excluded the vast array of guns that Dean had put up like trophies. He no longer found shelter there, he didn't feel like it was for him. Dean didn't feel at home, even now when he was with the people he loved. 

Maybe he was grieving too heavily, maybe he was holding onto something that wasn't there. Maybe, he was waiting for the familiar sound of beating wings and rustling feathers to fill the seemingly empty space even though he knew full well the sound would only be something he heard in his dreams. Maybe he was waiting for the low, gentle voice of the one he loved most to whisper his name with utter love and adoration, even though he knew that Cas' voice would never again speak to him. 

✧・ﾟ:* 

Late that night, Sam had gone out with Eileen somewhere nice, Dean couldn't quite remember where, and it was just him, Jack, and Miracle for the rest of the night it seemed. It was tough, interacting with the nephilim. Considering the fact that in the very room the two sat in now he had shouted at the top of his lungs that the child wasn't family, and considering the fact that he almost shot them in the face as they got down on their knees and told him to pull the trigger. 

"Dean?" 

Dean averted his gaze from his laptop for a brief moment when Jack had called his name from across the table. 

"Yeah, whats up?"

"When do you think,"

Jack struggled with their words, visible distress and worry forming on their face. 

"When do you think my grace will be back to normal?"

Since Amara had separated herself from Jack, she took the majority of the nephilims power away from them in the process of taking the God like powers that were necessary to rule Heaven. Jack still had some of their power left, but it would take time before it would all replenish. 

"Does it feel like it's getting back to normal?" 

Jack looked down at their hands, almost as if they were trying to visualize their remaining grace as if it was something material. 

"Sort of..."

"I think you're gonna be okay, Jack. It's only been a month and you're already making good progress. I'm proud of you." 

Dean gave Jack a look of reassurance, the nephilim smiling warmly back at him and looking back down at their lap. Dean sighed and stood from the chair he was sitting in and began walking down toward the kitchen. 

"You want something to eat?" 

"Sure."

And like that, their night alone went as usual. Jack made sure that the both of them were always doing something together, whether it be playing board games or lounging somewhere watching some tv show that jack had recommended before drifting to sleep. Dean either let them be or wake them up to help them to their room where they could sleep better. This was one of the times where he would let the nephilim rest on the couch. Dean sleepily made his way to his own room, Miracle following close behind in lengthy strides. He soon collapsed onto the mattress and relished the very brief moment of relief, sitting up to pull the labradoodle into a tight embrace before letting him go and allowing him to roam where ever he pleased on the bed. Dean paused for moment, staring at the foot of the bed and feeling a wave of grief wash over him. 

Castiel sat right there at the foot of his bed. Sometimes, Dean swore he still saw him. In the late hours of the night when his vision and mind were blurred with sleep, he swore he saw the outline of the angel sitting silently and patiently. But he was never there. He never would be. 

Dean didn't think he saw saw Cas that night, or the next. Or the next. 

✧・ﾟ:* 

112 days without Castiel

Dean didn't want to forget Cas, he didn't want to get over him and he never wanted to stop grieving. Sam said that it wasn't healthy for him to hold on this long, they also said they understood what Dean was going through, and that they were only trying to help. It wasn't Sams fault, it really wasn't. they only understood what Dean was going through to a certain degree. Sure, Eileen was taken just like everyone else that day. Just like Stevie, Just like Donna and Bobby, and just like Cas. However, Sam couldn't begin to understand what happened between their brother and the angel in the dungeon that day, and sometimes, Dean couldn't either. 

Thursday morning, 6: 36 am, Dean heard frantic knocks at his door. Miracle suddenly jumped up in alarm, barking at the door. This only caused Dean more irritation than he cared for. before he could even roll out of bed, Sam and Jack were already making their way into his room. 

"What's the point of knocking if you're just gonna pile in before I can answer the damn door-" 

"Dean we figured it out."

Sam suddenly cut Dean off from his sentence, looking exhausted and frantic, and, quite honestly? Thrilled. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" 

"We figured out a way to rescue Castiel."

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAA I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!! I DON'T HAVE AN UPLOAD SCHEDUALE SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!!!!!


End file.
